You know your own body better than any chart or pamphlet ever will. That's the whole point of this post.
I get asked a lot, usually by someone standing at my booth turning a pendant over in her hand, how she's supposed to know if something's wrong. She's not asking about the jewelry. She's asking because she's scared, or because her mom just got a call back from her mammogram, or because she hasn't checked herself in longer than she'd like to admit. So let's talk about it plainly, the way I wish someone had talked to me about it before all of this became my life's work.
Self-exam vs. self-awareness (and why the difference matters)
For a long time, women were told to do a formal breast self-exam every month, same day, same steps, like a checklist. More recently, groups like the American Cancer Society and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have shifted that guidance toward something called breast self-awareness instead. It's a softer idea, and honestly a more useful one. It just means knowing what's normal for your body, so you notice when something isn't.
That shift happened partly because rigid monthly exams didn't move the needle much on survival, and partly because they created a lot of unnecessary worry over harmless lumps. Neither self-exams nor self-awareness replace a mammogram. But knowing your own body is still worth something. A lot of cancers, especially in younger women who aren't yet at mammogram age, are still found because someone noticed a change and said something.
So do what works for you. Some women like the structure of a monthly check. Others prefer to just pay attention in the shower or getting dressed. Both count.
How to actually check
If you want a starting point, here's the version I'd give a friend, not a clinical script, just the plain version.
In the shower, run your hand flat over each breast and up into the armpit, using the pads of your fingers, checking for any lump, thickening, or area that feels different from the rest. In front of a mirror, look for changes in size, shape, or skin, things like dimpling, puckering, redness, or a nipple that's suddenly turned inward. Lying down, feel the same way you did in the shower, since breast tissue spreads out flat and can be easier to feel this way.
None of this needs to be perfect or medical. You're not diagnosing anything. You're just building a relationship with your own body so you know what's yours and what's new.
What to actually watch for
The changes worth calling your doctor about are usually specific. A new lump, especially one that feels different from the surrounding tissue. Swelling, warmth, or redness that doesn't go away. Dimpling or puckering of the skin. A nipple that inverts, leaks fluid, or develops a rash. Pain that's new and doesn't follow your cycle. Most lumps turn out to be nothing serious, cysts, fibroadenomas, hormonal changes. But you won't know that until someone qualified tells you, so don't sit on it and don't talk yourself out of the appointment because you feel silly. That appointment is never a waste of anyone's time.
This is for the people standing next to her too
If you're reading this because someone you love is the one doing the checking, or the one who just found something, you belong in this conversation as much as she does. You can't do the exam for her and you can't make the results come back a certain way. What you can do is go with her to appointments, remind her gently instead of nagging, and not disappear if the news is hard. A lot of women tell me the loneliest part of a diagnosis isn't the treatment, it's feeling like everyone around them went quiet out of not knowing what to say. You don't need the right words. You just need to stay.
A small daily reminder
Some of my customers wear one of our breast cancer awareness jewelry less as a fashion statement and more as a nudge, something that catches their eye in the mirror and reminds them to actually do the check instead of putting it off another month. Each piece is made from a breast cancer cell image set in resin, so there's something almost funny about that, wearing the thing you're checking for as a reminder to check for it. One customer, Kristen, wrote to me about her Eternity Necklace saying knowing her purchase supports breast cancer research made it mean even more, and that the design felt like a perfect symbol of strength, hope, and resilience. That's the whole idea. And 10% of every sale from our breast cancer collection goes to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, so the reminder does double duty.
I'm not going to pretend a piece of jewelry replaces a mammogram. It won't. But if it gets one more woman to actually do the check she's been putting off, that's a win I'll take.
However this finds you
Maybe you're reading this on a totally ordinary Tuesday and nothing's wrong, in which case, good, go do your check anyway. Maybe you're waiting on results right now and every article you read feels like it's talking around the thing you actually want to know. Maybe you're a few years out from treatment and still flinch a little every October. All of that is normal. There's no wrong way to feel about this disease, and no timeline you're supposed to be on.
If you want to keep reading, my post on what metastatic breast cancer actually means might help, or if you're looking for something to give someone going through it, I put together a full list of gifts that actually help (and a few to skip).
Take care of yourself this week. And if you haven't checked in a while, maybe just do it today.
xo, Nikki
FAQs
There's no single required schedule anymore. Many doctors suggest monthly, timed a few days after your period ends when breasts are least tender, but the bigger goal is just staying familiar with your body so you notice changes whenever they show up.
Major guidelines now emphasize breast self-awareness over a strict monthly exam routine, since research hasn't shown formal exams reduce breast cancer deaths on their own. Self-awareness and self-exams are still useful alongside mammograms and clinical exams, not instead of them.
There's no single feel that guarantees anything one way or the other. Cancerous lumps are often firm, painless, and don't move around easily, but plenty of benign lumps feel similar. Any new or unusual lump should be checked by a doctor rather than judged from home.
There's no minimum age. Breast self-awareness is worth building young, since breast cancer, while less common in younger women, does happen and is sometimes first noticed by the woman herself rather than a mammogram.
Yes. With our breast cancer awareness collection, 10% of gross profit from every sale goes directly to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation to support research toward a cure.
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